You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
