so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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