You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
