I want to have your abortion
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
