My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
