Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
