Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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