I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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