i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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