Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
