how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
