Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize