just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
