I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If I had your ass I would rule the world
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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