he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
