so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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