just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
