I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
