it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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