Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
