hell yes lets make some ravioli
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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