I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
