Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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