god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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