I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize