When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
