Is it because I queefed?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
