Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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