Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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