Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
zippers are such a cool invention
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
