My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
