Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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