You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
