Heybabeimwearingurpanties
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize