Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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