I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize