Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
