Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
