So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
