Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
