i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
