God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
