no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
