We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
