why didn't you poke me back
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
