i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
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