don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
