in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
