with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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