Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize