I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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