Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just google imaged poop.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
