walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
