she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
