the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have tasted many bathrooms
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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