I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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