I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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