Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
