Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
