Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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