I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
