Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
