maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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