apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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