yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
