and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
