A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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