Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
