Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
