Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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