his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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