so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Randomize
