Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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